trying to find a glamorous way to tell you that i’m sitting alone in the dark office kitchen because SOMEONE on my team is playing music OUT LOUD which no one should have to deal with. it’s very lonely in here but at least it’s quiet.
a thing you can do on a monday morning is look at airbnb until you want to be dead or a wealthy parisian
junior year of high school my English teacher decided that the best way to get a bunch of math nerds to understand Paradise Lost was to make us stage a trial right there in the classroom — Adam v Eve, “who caused the fall of man”. i was, at the time, very depressed, and it was manifesting as apathy. in an attempt to finally one-up me into reading the assigned text, i was cast as Eve. i think she was trying to help, in retrospect, but who knows? she wore a lot of black turtlenecks and always looked hungover. maybe she was just being mean. anyway, instead of doing the reading, i came to class the day of the “trial” in a leopard-print mini-dress, drolly tossed out quotes i’d memorized in fifteen minutes of scanning the sparknotes during the previous period, and spent the rest of my time “off the stand” throwing fake love notes at the boy who was playing Adam. i got a B in that class. that teacher left the next year. i’ve never read Paradise Lost. is it any good?
I am 26 years old and I’ve never once had abs
or willingly bought Fresca with money
or stopped a wedding just because
I have never saved the president
from a forgotten foe no longer dormant
they have never rued the day they messed with lady liberty
and the founding fathers
and with me and the president
I have never kicked a person that wasn’t asleep
I still pencil into pools
the best day of my life was last Thursday
I slept on fresh sheets and bought bubble tea
that I finished while petting my dog
in a room full of dying moths
it is later
it is quiet
I am grateful for the friends I do have
for their forgotten queso
for all their dips I forgot to bring out
it has meant alot
"You were the smartest, funniest, saddest girl in Dayton."
"Thank you. I think that might’ve been a compliment."
do you ever look up in the middle of explaining a very specific plot point from fiddler on the roof in the middle of the bar where you’re drinking a red, white, and blue margarita and realize you’re probably exactly where you’re supposed to be on a grand scale
Just in case people missed it before, the literary magazine I’ve been working on is now accepting pre-orders on Indiegogo if that’s something that sounds cool to you.
I have a dumb poem in this, but more importantly it looks so cool, and I’m so happy for Chris. Buy a copy and read it to your dog, they’ll love it.
To get this out of the way: at 21 I graduated from college and moved across the country to start a job that I love and to live, for the first time in my life, all alone with my cat.