March 2012
“moderately funny or unfunny sentence in lowercase letters LOL”
– all the worst people
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I am a human GEM at 6:20 in the morning
Roommate #4: Good morning!
Me: I... what is happening.
Roommate #4: I never went to bed
Me: Good luck with your terrible decisions
February 2012
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hey liz you should maybe do some homewo-
“no fuck you i’m watching goodfellas”
right but don’t you have things to d-
“HENRY HILL DIDN’T DO HIS HOMEWORK AND NEITHER WILL I”
henry hill went to prison, liz
“FUCK YOU, PAY ME”
whatever you guys i just want every incarnation of sherlock
bamboozle cumbersnatch & martin freeman
boring white dude & lucy liu
ruth wilson & literally anyone (amara karan? it really doesn’t matter because CRIME FIGHTING LESBIANS)
tina fey & amy poehler (EXCEPT THEY DON’T SOLVE ANY CRIMES BECAUSE THEY’RE TOO BUSY MAKING EACH OTHER LAUGH)
kurt hummel &...
okay so i'm watching "the tudors"
which is bad and terrible and i’m just waiting for anne boleyn to show up, but i can’t help noticing that everyone on this show is really into consent
like when the king is about to bone his wife’s lady in waiting, he stops to ask DO YOU CONSENT? and she’s all “yes YOUR MAJESTY” and then, you know, boning
and later a dude character is mad about his daughter...
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Meryl Streep speaking is a lot like that teacher in Charlie Brown
only instead of trumpet sounds, what comes out is sunlight and joy
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things i have done since noon
talked myself into and out of dying my hair teal TWICE
not watched the awards red carpet
opened up my dash, seen photos of tina fey in a blue gown crossing herself??? died
bought tickets to ireland because europe is a magical place where airfare is affordable
read an ENTIRE BOOK
that’s it
i’m no better as a human
how disappointing
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LIFE LESSONS WITH CJ CREGG
IT’S IMPORTANT TO BE GOOD AT YOUR JOB EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO REAL TALK WITH THE PRESIDENT AND ALSO BE PRETTY
IT’S OKAY TO SIDEEYE HOMEOPHOMBES WITH BAD HAIR. YOU REA SO PRETTY
DRINK AND BE PRETTY
THE END
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goggle that shit, man →
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I AM NOT AT ALL EMBARRASSED TO POST THIS
I have this recurring dream where Zachary Quinto and I go to the opera, and we spend the entire time making snarky comments to each other
One hundred billion cells and the range of human imagination in my brain, and this is the fantasy mine has settled on. Ruining a performance of Madame Butterfly with a 34 year old man
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WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME TINA FEY WAS ON THE CHRIS...
THANKS FOR VALIDATING YOURSELF, EMBARRASSING GOOGLE ALERT
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making every phone call uncomfortable since '92
My mother: And THEN I got home from work to find that your father had left an open fruit cup in the fridge and it had SPILLED and it was leaking all over the food and I was so angry and -
Me: Mom, come on. It was an accident. What are you going to do, divorce him?
My mother: [silence]
[silence]
[silence]
Me: Oh god, is it too soon? It's too soon. Oh god, I'm sorry
My mother: No, no. That was very funny.
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theywillseeuswaving:
The Weakerthans | The...
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“Then, like so many people, who, perhaps, ought to be issued only a very...”
– jd salinger, franny and zooey
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“The problem was that the first quarter of the episode wanted to take place in...”
– the av club: on my way
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i don’t think glee has ever tried so hard to offend me on every single fucking level
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“If you can think of times in your life that you’ve treated people with...”
– David Foster Wallace
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important playlist 4 u →
hotbitchonahorse:
SONGS 4 A GAY FUNERAL
You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me - Cher
I Was Here - Beyoncé
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"You can't tell me that affirmative action doesn't...
That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Because reverse racism doesn’t exist. Because you can’t be racist against white people.
You can’t be racist against white people.
You can not be racist against white people
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honestly i couldn’t care less about the glee cast but i will watch the SHIT out of their e! true hollywood story in 2020
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sure, i'm supposed to be studying
but it’s probably also very important that i do some serious thinking about my favorite wife of henry viii
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today i taught a bunch of girl scouts about science. a mom called me “exceptional” and “a role model”.
lady, tonight i’m going to get really drunk and blog about how jed & leo should have gotten married so i could marry abbey bartlet
i would be honored to be your kid’s role model
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i’m not saying you should unfollow me now, but it’s 45 degrees out (!!), and i teared up when the bus driver played the glee cover of a katy perry song
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natashavc:
we who are your closest friends feel the time has come to tell you that every Thursday we have been meeting as a group to devise ways to keep you in perpetual uncertainty frustration discontent and torture by neither loving you as much as you want nor cutting you adrift
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at least four times today
Other human, who is apparently operating under the assumption that I had plans last night: Hey! How was your Valentine's Day?
Me: I, uh, good! Quiet. Haha!
Other human: Yeah, my [partner] and I went to [dinner, a movie], and then [some form of elaborate gift-giving] and it was amazing, you know?
Me: Yeah, me, uh, yes. Good. I have to... yes. Also
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“You know, Congress is a really great and effective part of our government”
– literally zero people
if i didn’t have to get up for work at 6:30, i would get wine drunk and talk about how much i love you all, and how you make my life easier, and how you are all my valentine
so… just pretend i did that
are you imagining it?
i know, i’m totally laughing, too
i am so great
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Anonymous asked: What do you think of the whole Karofsky situation? I'm all for his redemption and I think he's come a long way but the fact that he followed Kurt around and sent things like "I'll love you forever," or whatever makes me really uncomfortable. Finchel also makes me uncomfortable. And angry. Also, I don't know if I like that the writers have acknowledged the double...
I know I make this post every year
but man, anyone who hates on Valentine’s Day instead of taking the provided opportunity to tell a cool cat that you dig them is really, really missing out on something great. It’s cheesy. It’s commercialized. Candy hearts can’t legally be sold until they’ve been sitting in a warehouse for a decade, I’m pretty sure. I don’t give a shit. People are fucking...
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gormo:
Brian Kinney.
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sleigh bells - crush
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no one understands how much it pains me that tina fey will most likely never EGOT
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michelina asked: KURT HUMMEL ARE YOU REALLY SURPRISED
“Well, at least we’ve still got Cher”
– FaceKindle statuses everywhere upon Beyonce’s death in the year 2056
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“Because here’s the thing about realizing you’re into girls. Hardly anyone I know...”
– Heather Hogan (via evewithanapple)